building nothing out of something

testing testing 123

2011-11-03T11:26:00.007-04:00

November//Volume One:

Song Title - Artist, Album

1. Lonely Boy- Black Keys, El Camino (2011)

2. How Can You Swallow So Much Sleep?- Bombay Bicycle Club, A Different Kind of Fix (2011)

3. Vultures Like Lovers- Wild Nothing, Gemini (2010)

4. Until We Bleed (With Lykke Li)- Kleerup, Kleerup (2008)

5. Billie Holiday- Warpaint, Exquisite Corpse (2008)

6. Abducted- Cults, Cults (2011)

7. Caught a Long Wind- Feist, Metals (2011)

8. Deadbeat Summer- Neon Indian, Psychic Chasms (2009)

9. Good Ol' Fashion Nightmare- Matt & Kim, Sidewalks (2010)

10. Shaking Paper- Cat Power, You Are Free (2003)

11. Miranda- Surfer Blood, Tarot Classics (2011)

12. Days- Drums, Portamento (2011)

13. Hustle- Tunng, ...And Then We Saw Land (2010)

14. Revival- Talkdemonic, Ruins (2011)

(tracks play in random order)

This Must Be The Place

2010-11-29T02:39:00.001-05:00

I sometimes wondered what the use of any of the arts was. The best thing I could come up with was what I call the canary-in-the-coalmine theory of the arts. This theory says that artists are useful to society because they are so sensitive. They are super-sensitive. They keel over like canaries in poison coal mines long before more robust types realize that there is any danger whatsoever.

Everything Was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt.

2010-11-16T04:27:00.005-05:00

I urge you to please notice when you are happy, and exclaim or murmur or think at some point, 'If this isn't nice, I don't know what is.'

Speak about the future in past tense, here it comes

2010-11-13T22:35:00.004-05:00

Larry Krogar says, our whole solar system could be one tiny atom in the fingernail of another giant being. The theory of everything says, we're all just manifestations of tiny strings. Kurt Vonnegut's got it best though, when he says we're just here to fart around.

An Eschatological Laundry List

2010-10-10T03:07:00.004-04:00

1. This is it.
2. There are no hidden meanings.
3. You can’t get there from here, and besides there is no place to go.
4. We are already dying, and we’ll be dead a long time.
5. Nothing lasts!
6. There is no way of getting all you want.
7. You can’t have anything unless you let go of it.
8. You only get to keep what you give away.
9. There is no particular reason why you lost out on some things.
10. The world is not necessarily just. Being good often does not pay off and there’s no compensation for misfortune.
11. You have the responsibility to do your best nonetheless.
12. It’s a random universe to which we bring meaning.
13. You really don’t control anything.
14. You can’t make anyone love you.
15. No one is any stronger or any weaker than anyone else.
16. Everyone is, in his own way, vulnerable.
17. There are no great men.
18. If you have a hero, look again; you have diminished yourself in some way.
19. Everyone lies, cheats, pretends. (yes, you too, and most certainly myself.)
20. All evil is potentially vitality in need of transformation.
21. All of you is worth something if you will only own it.
22. Progress is an illusion.
23. Evil can be displaced but never eradicated, as all solutions breed new problems.
24. Yet it is necessary to keep struggling toward solution.
25. Childhood is a nightmare.
26. But it is so very hard to be an on-your-own, take-care-of-yourself-cause-there-is-no-one-else-to-do-it-for-you grown-up.
27. Each of us is ultimately alone.
28. The most important things each man must do for himself.
29. Love is not enough, but it sure helps.
30. We have only ourselves, and one another. That may not be much, but that’s all there is.
31. How strange, that so often, it all seems worth it.
32. We must live within the ambiguity of partial freedom, partial power, and partial knowledge.
33. All important decisions must be made on the basis of insufficient data.
34. Yet we are responsible for everything we do.
35. No excuses will be accepted.
36. You can run, but you can’t hide.
37. It is most important to run out of scapegoats.
38. We must learn the power of living with our helplessness.
39. The only victory lies is in surrender to oneself.
40. All of the significant battles are waged within the self.
41. You are free to do whatever you like. You need only face the consequences.
42. What do you know for sure…anyway?
43. Learn to forgive yourself, again and again and again and again.

Live like people invented in story books

2010-09-13T02:20:00.000-04:00

Our awareness is all that is alive and maybe sacred in any of us. Everything else about us is dead machinery.

On a road shaped like a figure 8

2010-09-06T02:27:00.000-04:00

Dreams are postcards from the subconscious- inner self to outer self, right brain trying to cross that moat to the left. All too often they come back unread: 'return to sender', 'address unknown'. That's a shame too, because there's a whole different world out there- or in here, depending on your point of view. For all we know this very moment could be nothing more than vapors of our own imagination.

mierzwiak! please let me keep this memory, just this one

2010-08-30T03:42:00.000-04:00

let's stop the car, lay on the grass while the planets spin and watch space pass.

Novocain Stain

2010-07-05T10:40:00.002-04:00

Stendhal syndrome, Angel says, is a medical term. It's when a painting, or any work of art, is so beautiful it overwhelms the viewer. It's a form of shock. When Stendhal toured the Church of Santa Croce in France in 1817, he reported almost fainting from joy. People feel rapid heart palpitations. They get dizzy. Looking at great art makes you forget your own name, forget even were you're at. It can bring on depression and physical exhaustion. Amnesia. Panic. Heart attack. Collapse. - Chuck Palahniuk, Diary

So much beauty it could made you cry

2010-06-13T23:14:00.001-04:00

My god everything is so beautiful. There is so much love in everything, in everyone I know. I used to wish I could be less intense about everything, but when I feel like this, when I feel like this I say fuck the rest.

third planet

2010-05-09T05:39:00.000-04:00

the past never vanishes away and the future has already happened. all of history is fixed and laid out like an infinite landscape of simultaneous events that we simply happen to travel through in one direction. this has all happened before, it will happen again, it is happening now.

we dance to the sound of sirens

2010-05-05T05:23:00.000-04:00

i dreamt we were all clones, stuck inside memory loops, repeating and repeating. and every time something happened i aimed to forget, i would type a code into a computer to delete a memory. i did this over and over, until nothing made sense. until no one knew who they were anymore.

Amnesiac

2010-04-04T01:07:00.002-04:00

We are all just the sum of our own memories.

silver soul

2010-02-15T22:38:00.011-05:00

i dreamt of a snake that ripped out my neck while no one was looking. a stranger told me my best friend had died, and when i wanted to scream, no one could hear me.

dark center of the universe

2010-01-05T02:55:00.004-05:00

you keep looking at the sun until your eyes dry up like raisins and fall out of your skull.

ice age heat wave can't complain

2009-12-22T03:05:00.005-05:00

we all tend to tweak our memories the farther we turn from them, but it doesn't make what happened any less real.

there is no there

2009-11-10T02:20:00.000-05:00

we start out as strangers and end just the same. you see my face and don't want to know it anymore. well, right back atcha.

grow up and blow away

2009-10-17T02:44:00.010-04:00

i want time to stop and the earth to spin so i can see stars streak the sky all at once.

and so it goes

2009-09-21T04:04:00.004-04:00

there is no deus ex machina in real life, no fantastical explanation to swoop in and fix a story. instead, we may have to teethe through regret sans a rewind button, we may live an entire life never knowing who we really are.

where i end and you begin

2009-09-06T01:12:00.005-04:00

we scatter our memories into objects, songs, scents- into anything upon association that can give us meaning to the madness that often creeps inside our heads.

every moment

2009-08-29T04:43:00.007-04:00

no one told me four years ago, that i'd have to leave my house to find my home. that i'd meet people who would stretch my heart out to feel more than i ever knew i could. i miss hearing their voices through paper thin walls. i miss knowing that no matter where i sat, i was inches away from gorgeous souls of people i loved. i miss coming home to blankets and couches and beautiful faces sipping on coffee mugs. i miss feeling their heavy hearts, and most of all, i miss them feeling mine. no matter how much my day hurt, they held ice against my bruised limbs.

my mind is sore from this lousy summer.

good news for people who love bad news

2009-08-12T03:56:00.000-04:00

it took 218 years to figure out that Mozart died of strep throat. remind me never to die in Vienna.

concrete sounds

2009-06-12T11:38:00.004-04:00

i dreamt the moon fell from the sky and crashed right into me.

gravity rides everything

2009-06-01T02:54:00.000-04:00

you're standing perfectly beneath these floating pieces, where all you need to do is jump up, grab them, and shove them all into place. but for now all you can do is look up and stare.

heart cooks brain

2009-05-27T04:04:00.000-04:00

everybody speaks their own language; almost everything gets lost in translation, whether you realize it or not. we live in our own heads, we create our own brainwaves that no one, not even someone who knows you, will be able to pick apart and comprehend. we exist without subtitles.

my thoughts were so loud i couldn't hear my mouth

2009-05-08T03:07:00.001-04:00

this weather makes me want to lay outside, ruffle grass between my fingers, and forget that anything but the sky exists.

What People Are Made Of

2009-02-28T00:24:00.000-05:00

I love my life and I love this earth but I fucking hate the world we're living in.